Dogs like most creatures, are innately, naturally sexual beings. But their sexuality is naturally oriented towards other dogs. They may not see us as sexual beings, however. This is something they have to learn.

So, I want to talk about sexuality. His. Humans and Dogs have been living together for about 20,000 years. We've been able to do it because our temperaments, our social and even sexual natures are very close. After 20,000 years of living together, we can mate happily.

But when going into K9 sex, remember, you can't approach him as a sex toy. He isn't a dildo or vibrator. You cant plug him in and turn him on and off. And you cant quite treat him as a human.

You have to start from the principle that this is a living being, a nonhuman being. A sexual being, and you have to reach that sexuality. You have to become a sexual being for him.

Remember, a dog is literally like an alien. He comes from different physical and instinctive parameters. Certain actions, certain behaviours and traits will be natural to him, others will be foreign. You can't expect him to act like a sex toy, and you can't relate and react to him like a human. Your behaviour to him, to have a successful sexual relationship, must recognize that he this is a different kind of being with a genuine if alien perspective.

Look at humans from a dogs point of view: Humans don't seem sexy. Our geography, our geometry is all wrong. We're tall and erect on long legs, our bodies flat... Their sexuality is oriented towards long bodies slung on legs, where the head and the vagina are in sensible places, not piled on top of each other like some demented totem pole. Our bodies just don't make sense to them, sexually.

And look at scent, dogs live by scent. But humans constantly conceal or mess our scents up, by showering, changing and wearing different clothes, colognes, soaps, perfumes, even the mundane things in life like cleaning solvents affect our odour. Instead of smelling natural, we're constantly hiding or masking our scent, especially our sexual scent.

On top of that, we refuse or try to minimize a great many normal social behaviours, like sniffing. Its hard to see yourself with someone if they can't even shake your hand.

So, its not a surprise that dogs aren't constantly humping us. Even women who want to do it will sometimes find that their dog isn't interested, or doesn't know what to do.

So, how do you become a sexual being for him. By raising his consciousness, by acting and positioning yourself in such a way that he realizes you are a sexual creature.... By relating to the dog on his own terms.

Assuming that you don't already have a dog, what sort of dog should you be looking for?

As a general comment, the most common dog seems to be Black Labs, followed by German Shepherds. Rottweillers, Mixed breeds, Collies and Danes are also used. When picking a breed, go with what you find beautiful. Pit Bulls and Saint Bernards have a bad reputation though.

My recommendation is a dog between two thirds and four fifths your body weight, although women have found bliss with both smaller and larger. I find at that size, they're hung just right and their energy isn't overwhelming.

You want someone between the ages of two and five. They should be sexually mature. Most dogs mature at the age of one and a half. If he's young, I recommend waiting... This is a gut instinct on my part, too young and he's not really receptive, and you may screw up his natural social development and personality. Too old, and he may be too set in his ways and in his sexuality to expand his horizons to include you.

Most importantly, always consider personality. Look for a dog who's friendly, outgoing, who genuinely seems to like you and be curious about you. Avoid dogs who seem withdrawn, or who seem too aggressive. Listen, its very simple. You wouldn't or shouldn't have sex with a human who's an asshole. Why lower your standards for dogs?

Always have a good relationship with your canine. If you're thinking of a dog you already have, then you're the best judge of that relationship.... Good luck.

One thing more, if your dog has been fixed, then he's probably not going to be really sexual. Maybe you can feed him hormones or something, if you know a vet or can come up with an excuse. But otherwise, you won't get much past licking.

What to do, how do you reach him?

First, be naked around him, whenever you can. Get him used to the look and feel and scent of your real body.

Reorient yourself for him. Move from being a tall totem pole to something whose geography makes more sense to him. Try to orient or show him that your body orients towards horizontal. Lay back or lean or sprawl on the couch or the bed, even in chairs, slouch back. Get down on the floor with him, on all fours. This is much more natural for him, and it makes it easier for him to understand and relate to your body.

Skip the shower after exercising, or after you've built up a sweat. Let him get to know your natural odour. Let him become familiar with it. Avoid perfumes or colognes, it will throw him off.

Often, he'll show curiosity. Encourage it. Let him sniff you or lick you. Offer him your hands. If he shows any interest in sniffing or licking your crotch, spread and encourage him.

Play with him. I mean normally, play tug of war. Go out and throw the frisbee. And play at home naked. The mounting posture, on knees and elbows, is very similar to the 'play' posture. Close the distance, until you're someone that he relates to and likes. The better he has a feel for you as a person, the more easily and happily it will happen.

Let him experience your sexuality. Masturbate around him, so that he can smell you. Offer him your wet fingers to lick and investigate. If he shows any interest in sniffing or licking between your legs encourage him. Have him in the room when you are doing it with a human partner, and use doggy style. If you're masturbating, try and use that posture. If you're using a dildo or vibrator, let him sniff it.

Let him, encourage him to smell you around your period. Its the closest your body comes to estrus or heat. My dog seems horniest just before my period. But in any case, this is when your sexual scents will be strongest and most like a female dogs.

Sniffing and licking isn't truly sexual behaviour for them. But its strongly social behaviour, and if you're someone he can sniff and lick, then you become someone he can relate to. And that includes relating sexually. After all, when he sniffs you, he's sniffing your body, and that includes your sexual scents.

All of this is mainly oriented towards expanding his consciousness, allowing him to see you as a sexual being and someone that he can see and respond to sexually. For most dogs, it will be a natural and almost unconscious process. For many, it will happen easily, and they'll be ready quickly in the first session. Others may take a couple of sessions to fully absorb and digest it.

If he doesn't absorb or digest it, you can still get him hard, and even get him to come. But he may be confused, and may simply not know how to react or respond, and won't mount.

Licking

Dogs are natural lickers. Its partly a social behaviour, they explore and understand the world with their nose and tongue. Its also partly a physical reflex, give them moisture or certain textures, they have to lick it.

A dog can learn to lick your vagina for the simple pleasure of it. For him, its not really a sexual experience or sexual thing to do. The sexuality, for him, comes from the scents of your arousal as he does it.

If he shows interest in licking you, encourage him. Reinforce the behaviour. Pet him, rub his ears, tell him what a good dog he is, give him treats or fill his bowl with cold water. Positive reinforcement lets him know that he's doing a good thing, and he'll follow his natural tendencies.

If he isn't licking you, some people suggest trying honey, or peanut butter or fish oil on their vagina. I don't recommend it personally. But sometimes it will work and nothing else may. If you do try it that way, use small amounts to get him started, and once he gets into it, slowly taper it off. Remember, you want him hooked on your natural taste, not on your vagina as a place to find peanut butter. And again, once he starts, provide positive reinforcement.

Their tongues are longer and much more flexible than humans, but not as muscular. The surface is rougher, and its much faster, it laps and swirls quickly, and where a human tongue can push inside, a dogs will sort of slide in. Their licking has no inhibitions, and they'll lick from anus to clit. Enjoy.

Touching Him

Now, I want to talk about initiating sex with him. About touching him and arousing him. Female dogs have it easy, they go into heat, releasing a great big billboard "fuck me" scent. But they also have body language, ways of moving, presenting, whining, all of which turn on male dogs.
Well, we aren't bitches, and our body language and smell aren't going to be the same. But dogs have enough flexibility to react and respond to other signals, he can and will respond to your stimulation.

You start by stroking the inside of his back thigh. Use short light strokes. For dogs, this isn't sexual, its social behaviour. Its how they inspect each other. He should go still but will be relaxed. He'll enjoy it, its almost like a hug or a kiss. They sniff each other there all the time.

Speak softly, sound friendly. Its not what you say, but the tone of your voice, so talk dirty if it excites you. And feel free to stroke his head or back as well.

Once you're stroking the inside of his thigh, move from there to his balls and his sheath. Again, stroke using short light strokes, imitating a licking action. Experiment a little, squeezing and caressing. Squeeze very gently, although you can work the sheath harder than his balls.

Watch him carefully, his body language and sounds are his only way of letting you know how he feels. If he moves away, it means he wasn't comfortable and doesn't want to be rude. If he growls, obviously, he didn't like something.

This may be a new sort of touching with him and he may not like it. If he growls, then back off, continue stroking the inside of his thigh and speaking softly, and then try again after a minute. He may just need a moment to get used to it.

Don't force him to lie down to fondle him. Some will allow that, but its not a natural sexual function or posture. You're enforcing a submissive posture, which is not sexual to him. This may confuse him sexually and make it hard for him to mount you.

As I've said, it is a social posture, and once he's had you and had his head straight with it, it may be possible to put him like that.

Personally, when I touch my dog, I like him to be standing and I'll be on my knees or laying on the couch or the bed, just reaching over. Its a posture that he understands, both with himself and with me.

Eventually, if you stimulate him, his cock will come out. That's pretty much a reflex. Its supposed to look like that, by the way.

If you're curious there are a lot of pictures available on the net. Its generally bright red, with a lot of very visible veins, although some may have bluish or whitish tones. The tip has a sort of cone, where a mans has a head. And about two thirds/three quarters of the way down the shaft, there's a bulge which swells, called the knot. Like men, their appearance and proportions vary from one individual to the next.

Generally with a normal sized dog, the size I've recommended, it'll be about human sized. If you're wondering how big they get, it really does vary among individuals, just like men. As a general, very general, rule, the cock sizes are reflective of the sizes of the dog breeds, and of the individuals.